Category Archives: Musings


Be honest.

Be true enough to be open.

Have enough integrity and self-worth to be truthful.

Do the hard thing – open your heart.

Be yourself in all your gorgeous vulnerability.

There’s not much else required of you.

Not the Only One

Preface just to give this post a little context:
…my church has been reading through Revelations and right at the beginning, John is writing to a bunch of churches about how they’re doing and what they could/should be doing differently.  Revvie (that’s my pastor) asked us to honestly consider which ‘church’ we felt we were right now. This was my response to her.  I was absolutely NOT going to put it up but I read a post from a fellow blogger earlier today where the question was regarding what to do when you “lose the fire” for God (his post is here -you should def follow him-   Wanna let him/her, you, and me know that we aren’t alone in this. You’re not the only one.  Trust.
So to Revelations…I’m Ephesus, 2:2-7.  I don’t even know how to get back “there” right now (v4-5: But I have this against you: You have left the love you had in the beginning.  So remember where you were before you fell. Change your hearts and do what you did at first.) I was in love when I was serving. I was in love when I was studying and writing. I was in love when I had time with Him. But most of all I was in love when it all seemed to matter and there was a direction. Now, I don’t see the point of all this scratching and clawing just to stay ‘true’. I can’t seem to put it in terms of “eternal life” as the prize cause I’m still trying to make it through THIS wack life.  And this world will leave you a bloody, disgruntled, disappointed, and disillusioned mess if you let it. As I watch Christians do whatever they want, the government do whatever it wants, unbelievers do whatever they want, it just seems it would be easier to be a mediocre Christian and “live my life” too. I wouldn’t have to worry about impossibilities or doubts or God being bigger than my circumstances. I wouldn’t have to wait for answers or struggle through dry seasons or losses or fight with faith. I wouldn’t be forced to dream bigger than me or expect more. I wouldn’t have to deal with conscience or questions or care so much about the truth. I could just coast and live out the life satan figured I’d go for. Unfortunately, like Jeremiah, God tricked me into this life of MORE. I can’t shake it and I can’t move from it. I WISH I could doubt that but I absolutely cannot. I can’t be a Nicolatian – a Christian of compromise. He won’t let me. I ain’t regular. I’m chosen.  And sometimes, it sucks.
The end.

2 of Diamonds

“One and some possibles” is how you bid on a hand in a game of Spades…don’t ever let anyone play your life that way.

Loud Applause

“This is what we applaud…it is the notion of choosing the clarity and power of one’s own voice over the voice of doubt and hesitation, despite the fact that that [latter] voice is louder, and more people are saying it…” 

Kivi Bernhard – Leopardology

Momma Dee and Clock Radio Speakers

She is absolutely off her rocker, but in this she was absolutely right…”change IS a’comin”!

The face of the church is changing.

The face of worship is changing.

The face of the Kingdom conversation is changing.

And to quote a magnificent friend: “Get right or get left”…..(thanks Chi)

Ohhh…you want proof.  Aight, just click the link and listen with your heart open.  Cause I think I just fell in love with this life all over again.

Clock Radio Speakers Episode 97: Lavoisier

Armond & Doc talk with Lavoisier about Kidd Jopp’s “Letter to Lecrae”, if there’s such a true thing as a ‘true Christian’, and a whole lot more.  Then Armond & Doc finish up with some NBA talk and the role of Twitter in the Boston Marathon coverage.   Plus some CRS randomry.

How to Get Grace

“A man inquired of a preacher, ‘How do you receive the grace of God?’

Since it was pouring down rain outside the building where the two were talking, the preacher replied, “Like this.”

Whereupon he stepped out into the pouring rain and began to be soaked.”

– p 6, Never a Day Too Much, Daniel Black


Baby Prophets

Real conversation between 4 adults and a truly wise 4 year old…we love the Gabster.

Baby Gab: “Where is Jesus??? Why can’t He be right here beside me [in person]?”

Adult 1: “He said He had to go away for right now…but He’ll be back.”

Baby Gab: “When??”

Adult 2: “Remember, He said we won’t know when…we won’t know the day or the hour.”

Baby Gab: “BUT I KNOW WHEN!! I know…….but it’s a secret and I can’t tell…shhh.”

Adult 3: “You know….you might just be on to something there!”

Pants on Fire

Holidays bring out lies and liars. Family members gather to laugh about and over grandiose figments of the imagination. One uncle tells about the 90 lb barracuda trout he caught while on vacation in Aruba last year. One aunt tells about just how much she’s NOT going to eat this year.  There’s always one with the best story.  One that you can always bank on showing up is LONELINESS. Sometimes he arrives with the rest of the guests and stays all day but the majority of the time, he shows up right when the last guest is leaving, sits in your recliner and starts chatting.

Understand that loneliness is a pathological liar.  He will never tell you the whole truth. He will tell you that in a room full of people, you are all alone. And you deserve it cause it’s your own fault.  Loneliness will tell you that you are all alone in this room because you’re simply inferior to everybody else and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Loneliness will tell you that you’re here by yourself because you here by yourself is not enough, that anything you have is not enough, and anything you do is not enough because if it were, you would not be here by yourself.

But remember, loneliness doesn’t know how to tell the truth. Go find Hebrews 13:5. Stop and read Deuteronomy 31:6. Heck, just pick up any bible, drop it on the floor and read any passage it opens on.  You’ll see you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone. You weren’t created to be alone. And you alone is more than enough for the Lord Jesus Christ who died for you. Regardless of how you feel, that’s the truth of the matter.

So have a hearty laugh at his stories. Take them for what they are…grandiose figments of the imagination.

Revvie Writings

So my pastor writes up little nuggets of wisdom for Sunday service that we discuss and chew over. The following was a recent one and I had to *ahem* borrow it. So, I’ve changed some of the details and adapted it for myself.

The Me

But it’s not about that.

It’s about me recalling you for what you were – and not who I imagined you to be.

Not for who I idealized you as…but it’s about me remembering the truth of you with unfiltered honesty and accuracy.

Seeing the real you. The you you became. The you who got comfortable being that you. The you who lied, stole, disrespected, raped and pillaged. That you.

The you who liked it…at least you must have because you wouldn’t stop. Or even the you who liked being that you more than you loved me.

The you who absolutely did not deserve the me of even then. The you who absolutely does NOT deserve the me of now. The you who still don’t get it.  The you who ain’t got a clue.

But this me finally accepts that the real you was always right in front of me. Never left. Never moved. The whole time.

So this me gotta move on.  This me is leaving that you behind. Finally.

This me likes sanity.

This me likes clarity.

This me deserves better FROM me.

This me has reached the limit of that you. This me has had enough of that you. This me has outgrown that you.

And I hope that one day you will outgrow that you too.

The Foilable of Respect

Thank you for having respect for what you believe I do and what you believe I am capable of doing. That you would see my potential and find it laudable is motivating.  That you would admit to always “looking up” to me is humbling.

But what I do is not me.

What happens on the day that I can no longer do? Where goes it at a time when I choose to no longer act?

All that will be left is me. And she is worthy of being respected in that most basic form.

Simply because she is me.

So if you can show no respect to her beyond the construct of her doing then you have disrespected her greatly.