Category Archives: Life

Last one on the catch up with Job

OK…I’m done for the day after this one…Job 9 & 10


I don’t really have much on Job today. Precious child of God is agreeing with his wretched friends on the truths they spoke. What I notice, though, is that he never REACTED to the things they said. He could have gone on a tangent and ripped Bildad a new one for talking about his babies, but he didn’t. He kept it on God EVEN THOUGH he is confused and doesn’t get what’s going on. What he does seem to understand (9:22) is Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11, and James 2:1-4….EVERYBODY is the same under God.  He ain’t special. He wasn’t in wealth and he isn’t in suffering. That’s a tough dichotomy for a lot of us – how to know you’re chosen, sanctified, and justified WITHOUT thinking you’re the only one Jesus died for! I think that’s another place arrogance tends to sneak in. “Christians and saints” believe they’re SPECIAL. Some Christians believe that as a Christian, you should receive everything you ask for or else you aren’t a true Christian – and it’s also what the whole “prosperity gospel” nonsense and the “touch not Israel” ideas are about. People start believing their own hype instead of Jesus.

9:27-28: the “church” has taught some people that if they’re going through any type of hardship, struggle, pain, anything, that they should just “put on a happy face”.  Job said “‘damn that’ cause even if I DO, my pain is still here! ‘Skinnin’ and grinnin’ is NOT gonna change the fact that I’m facing this situation.” Nobody teaches THIS! Maybe I’m crazy but I see the “joy of The Lord” coming from Job that I think many try to get to, but because we’re all so afraid of HONESTY that we’d rather limit how people relate to God (and how He relates to US).

That’s pretty much all I got for today because it wanna see how Zophar responds! Knowing that he’s gonna be just as wrong as the other two, I’m anxious to see how he can possibly screw this up!! LOLOL After everything that Job has just poured from his heart, what can he really say????

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Almost there…more Job

Ok…this is the next to the last one… Job 7 & 8


Job 7 has me on a ride because it’s so beautifully bipolar! Poor Job is all over the place, but he’s all over the place with God. In church Sunday, we were talking about the breakdown of the books under the classification of poetry/wisdom and now I’m seeing SO MANY of the similarities that it’s crazy. Seminary taught me the “theory” but to now see certain things come to life is pretty awesome. 98.37% of chapter 7 reads like Ecclesiasties. Verses 1-2…so much dutiful service with no rest turns out to be utter nothingness for Job. He’s not even talking about just himself yet, he sees the issue for all of mankind – not even just that we “work”, but that we are like duty bound military soldiers under Yahweh Sabaoth, or the Lord of Armies; that even soldiers expect a time of rest and reward for their service. But verses 3-4 point to his personal realization that he may have been wrong because even sleep is useless. I remember times like that. Holding on to the “H” in “hope”, thinking that I could just try to sleep my endless and twisted anxiety away, but it never working.

Then we had Psalms 26 and 139 in the bulletin and I was reading through them both and it struck me to wonder just how David, if he indeed wrote Psalm 26, knew he was “innocent”? *Psalm 26 reads SO MUCH like “Job”…Psalm 139 sounds more like “David”* Just like Job, WE know David’s story, but honestly we don’t even know that God considered David a man after his own heart til JESUS came!!  And nowhere in David’s shenanigans did God even NEED to point David out! LOL So just how, again like Job, was he so able to be that confident? It tells me two definitive things: that God truly has NO favorites and that he knows just how to deal with every one of his children because he knows the hearts of his children. Some scholars limit Job to a test of JOB, but God is so bad that he was testing all Job’s friends at the same time…just in different ways. Because even if they were part of the “stiff-necked” set, there’s no way they walked away at the end of their time with Job thinking the same way about God.

So 7:1-10 were kinda “nice”…from 11 on it’s like Job snaps! LOL But not even in an arrogant way. He just wants to know what he did wrong…verse 20 made me cry. He’s struggling because he doesn’t understand – to the point that he even asks God if he has become a “burden” to him. That broke my heart because it reminded me of a young man I’m very close to. He’s walked with the idea that if he’d never been born his mother wouldn’t have gone through some of the things she did. It’s a painful thing to see a man wrestle with the idea that he’s become/was a burden to the one that should love and protect him most. But again, what’s funny is that he doesn’t even bother speaking to his friends…this is all straight poetry from Job’s heart to God…cause sometimes you just gotta ignore even your best friends to get in God’s face. We were talking about an artist named August Alsina recently and I watched an interview where he was the most wise and self-aware person IN the interview. For me he made the people interviewing him look foolish and immature and he reminded me of Job…sometimes, even though he was answering a question, it seemed like he was more doing a Job 7 and just pouring his heart out.

In chapter 8, Bildad pissed me off even more than Eliphaz if that’s even POSSIBLE!! I had to walk away and stop reading him for a minute by verse 6.  This guy tells Job in verses 4-6 that his kids brought their own death on themselves and he should learn from that!! WHAAAAAT?!?!? So in one breath he told Job he was a bad parent and his kids were worse!! Far as I’m concerned, he sound like satan in verses 5-6. For a “friend”, Bildad obviously knew nothing about Job…and it’s ironic that he tells Job to BECOME what God had already said Job IS!  We gotta watch “saints” who wanna tell us who we are or aren’t in Christ because of what they THINK THEY SEE.  Because once again chapter 8 is just another friend who is so right yet SO wrong.


Nope…no idea, but still Job

Ok so somewhere I lost Job 3-4 and I have no idea where it went…so instead of holding up the works til I dig it out, this is 5 & 6!!


Eliphaz is a piece of work. And of course he’s the first one to pop off at Job…he was really tryin’ it. And if it wasn’t custom to wait for the “sufferer” to speak first, he probably would have started sooner…matter of fact, he was probably the reason Job had to BEGIN in “response” mode!!! From 5:1-5, he basically told Job he was an idiot, it was his own fault that he lost everything, and the best part was that no one, including GOD, was gonna respond or even listen to anything he had to say. I thought that was pretty gangsta! You got God on lock so tight that you know who he’s gonna listen to?!?!? Funny how I guess you didn’t think He’s been listening to YOU…but we’ll get to that later!! Guess not cause verses 8 & 27 just running over with self-righteousness. We “saints” do it to each other all the time….especially the ones who’ve been in the game for a long time and are used to God being who He’s always been to them. One thing I’ve learned is that God is indeed “the same yesterday, today, and forever” but WE aren’t.  And the God I know today may not be the God that’s showing up in someone else’s life at the same time.  While He’s teaching me trust, he might be teaching one friend grace, and another humility all at the same time! But we tend to try and shove our “right now God” down other peoples’ throats.

Chapter 6, Job doesn’t even address Eliphaz immediately or even directly (he lumps all his good-for-nothing peoples together!) He starts off talking about God…verse 4 is so deep. I feel him on that. He’s basically admitting just how deep he’s in his head trying to figure this thing out. Oooh but in 14 he starts goin in himself!! Nothing hurts more than realizing that your friends don’t know you at all. Nobody will know everything about anybody…but there are certain things that the people closest to you should never try to come for you about. Eliphaz didn’t ASK him a single thing – not a “how do you think you got here?”, not a “what do you think God is saying?” – he just immediately started telling him how he was wrong and he brought it all on himself. That’s the kind of “friend” don’t NOBODY need!!


Job — a little behind

I had to exercise my “freedom/independence” for a couple days but it’s time to get back on the “Revue” grind!  We’ve moved into the book of Job now, starting last week —- this is from Job 1 & 2


 

It’s interesting how we were just talking about arrogance and pride. Job is one of those books that can catch you completely off guard if you ain’t careful. It is a book that exposes arrogance on every level…and “arrogance” is a crafty deceiver.

I know I’m getting ahead of myself (and the readings!) but it’s crazy how many times the book of Job has been used to back up the idea of “taking back what the devil stole”. First off, the “devil” ain’t STEAL nothin’….Yahweh GAVE it. We et stuck at that! “Ooooh how can a good Gawd do something like that to him??? Why LAWD???” What we really mean is “I’m just as blameless and perfect as this dude Job was supposed to be! How could the God who’s supposed to be so good do something like that to ME?” *Ahem*Pardon me but who told YOU that you were all that?? God ain’t even tell Job! He told the cat who was trying to accuse Job.

Sidebar: Satan and all his minions are idiots, but that’s what arrogance can do. Like dude, God just TOLD you to fall back. He asked you where you’d been because He already knew what you were out looking to do. Satan missed hint #1 (1:7). Then Yahweh OFFERED UP some information that Satan obviously wasn’t gonna mess with before. Like Haman almost, you know you can’t stand this dude but you also know you can’t come at him straight up! Punk. NOTHING about that made you stop and wonder WHY he was droppin’ you this jewel?!?! It didn’t simply because all you heard was how awesome this rat-faced Job was and got HIGHLY UPSET!!! Satan was so mad that he made a promise to God AGAINST the person God just bigged up!!! I can just see God chuckling under his breath at verse 12 like “oh well, I tried to warn you. Go’head playa….oh, but don’t forget who controls this game.” And Satan silly self went skipping off like he was really about to do somethin!!

Chapter 2 starts the same game. It’s crazy how Satan wanna tear other people down and accuse them of stuff but always had to “present himself” before God. You ain’t that important and it’s OBVIOUS to everybody except YOU!! You have to make an account for yourself just like everybody else – especially because you’re a liar. So God gave you another opportunity to fall back and if not humble yourself, just admit defeat. But oh no, you can’t do that. 2:3 God just told you that you lost, but you’re gonna go in again.

I ain’t even gonna take time on his wife. Ain’t nobody got time fa’dat!! LOL

But I do wanna look at his friends, rather a possible connotation of this part of the story. At first glance, it seems on the up&up. We want our friends to come through and be there for us when we’re going through difficulty. And I know that it’s customary to grieve like or more than the one going thru. But WHY IS THAT?? The word used in 2:11 for what his friends heard about Job’s plight is “רעה”…granted, it means bad and distress, but it also means EVIL. Their behavior reminds me of black funerals. When people die, yes it’s sad, but if we’re all believers, what makes it BAD/EVIL?!? It’s NOT the last time we’ll ever see them (if WE make it through the gates!!) and we know that they’re literally in a better place. All Job lost was stuff that could be REPLACED…even Job knew that. That’s not to minimize the things he lost but it already tells that the friends came in with the wrong idea from jump. They weren’t weeping because they could see that Job had given up on God…they were weeping because of what they saw on the outside. They only saw his outward while God was always looking at his heart. So while they came in rolling around, throwing dirt in the air and trying to jump in the casket (TAKE ME LAWD!!!), Job didn’t say nothing for at least a week. I wonder if Job saw them coming and was like “here we go…dese negros!!” LOLOL


*Grumble*

I can’t seem to turn my “focus” switch on today.  I’ve picked out the books I need to read and the workbook and homework I wanted to plow through because I’m sitting in a Modern Hebrew class tonight; laid my pen and pencil next to my journal notebook, sat at my desk…….and started looking out the window.

It’s so strange today because it’s not distraction. I know when I have so much on my mind that I’m all over the place but never in the place I should be. That’s not it. Today I’m ready, willing, and able to “get ‘er done”…I just haven’t yet, and short of going back to bed and starting over, this was my only other outlet to try and break through.

I guess this is cathartic because I’ve opened the same book and read the same 4 and a quarter pages of said book like twice since I’ve started writing this, which is a far cry from where I was 3 hours ago.

All I know is that this gotta pass.


Revue: Esther today

**the Book of Esther, chapters 7 and 8**


 

It just got REAL!!!!!

Esther is so dope to me. She didn’t stop in the middle of the party to pull the king aside and remind him that they had something to talk about. She let him come to her again. That just struck me as awesome. I know I can force situations because I don’t trust that the people in them are gonna be true to their word;  or I create scenarios in my head of how something COULD happen. Like being shook at how God’s perfect will is gonna play out – it’s just how sneaky arrogance is – I won’t pray his perfect will be done because I think I already KNOW how a situation MIGHT turn out!!! How insane is that thought process?!?!?  Unlike Esther, I’m so afraid of however I see the outcome, that I try to force the outcome.
Now, someone could look at it as Esther just stalling because she was shook (*insert neck rolls* “why she ain’t just tell him…how she gone keep having banquets for him?!?!” *insert more neck rolls*). But I think she was simply connected and patient.  Especially after how she responded to the king. She made sure never to BLAME him or even hint that it was his fault – even though I’m sure she knew that the only way a law like that could have made the books is if HE allowed it. She wasn’t all up in her feelings about her husband being part of the issue because 1) she was very clear on who he was, and 2) she was very clear on the REAL issue. It’s like the chicks who always wanna fight the other woman but NEVER address their “man”. They let their little hurt feelings distract them from the real problem and the real culprit. Esther’s response had none of that. She even went so far as to affirm his trust in her. She turned it back to him basically saying that ‘had the issue only hurt me and not you, I wouldn’t even have bothered you. But since THIS plan will really cause YOU problems, I had to tell you.‘ And on top of feeding his ego a nice porterhouse, she was saying too that “Boo, you KNOW I ain’t no drama-queen or nag. You know I would have stayed in my chambers if it wasn’t that deep.” But a woman GOTTA KNOW IN HER HEART that she really ain’t that drama-queen or nag in order to stand like that.  Verse 7 (chapter 7) had me in stitches!  The king was so mad he had to excuse himself; and I can see him out there kicking over statues and flipping over benches talking about “Ain’t dis some *\#^%$&@!!!! Dis supposed to be my DUDE and he trying to off what’s MINE?!?!? Ohh HELLLLL NAW….NOT TODAY!!!!!”  Then he comes back in to see this idiot all up on his wife?! At that point I’m sure the king ain’t really care that he was begging for his life — because he SHOULDA BEEN!!!
I’m trying to figure out how the dude Harbona knew so much about Haman’s plan….UNLESS he was one of those “friends” that Esther 5:12 was talking about!! You better be real careful about being a snake because you won’t see who around you might have snake tendencies.  Cause this cat was QUICK to throw Haman under the bus, rather in the noose.  But if he, Harbona, was one of the kings eunuchs, and Mordecai dropped dime on two OTHER eunuchs, would he have NOT known about how the king felt about Mordecai saving his life?!?! Or maybe he was one of the people from Esther 6:13 who was trying to warn him, Haman, to fall back from being in his feelings about Mordecai in the first place. So by Esther 7:9, he was like “Hey, we tried!! HANG HIM!”
Last thing is that it seems to me that when king realized that he made a bad call, he coulda saved himself and Vashti lot of heartbreak if he had just stopped and said “Yo…this was stupid! Go get my signet ring so I can get my queen back!”   He was KING for cryin’ out loud – he could have done whatever he wanted, the same way he flipped the decree in Esther 8:8. But then too, HE was the one who was all nostalgic in the Vashti situation. In order to fix that, he would have had to fall on his own sword. This most recent situation was “technically” Haman’s fault so he got a BOGO: make a complete example of him AND make his words mean nothing. Beware of people who go hard to “hang you” and make YOUR wrongs right, but won’t fix the stuff they single-handedly shattered into pieces.


In Revue

My Jesus crew is studying the Word book by book. A lot of times it’s called “The Bible in a Year”, but because we’re looking to really dig in and not just read, we’ll probably be working through it til 2016 (which is just fine by me)!

Anyhoo, since I do it everyday anyway – I’m gonna drop off the things that I got from what we went through that day, a “review” of the information, if you will.  It’ll help me stop being lazy and hopefully you’ll enjoy some of the breakdown. Win-win.

For more semantic minded people, you’ll notice that the title of this is ‘In “REVUE”‘…and that’s more the feel that I usually have. It won’t be overly technical and I try not to be too satirical (although sometimes the topic just BEGS for it!! It’s just too easy!!) or cynical (which is simply my own personality issue!).

We’re in the Old Testament and are up to Esther, so next stop: Esther 7 &  8.