There are so many quotes about the “strength” and “power” of riding out on your own – as a “lone wolf”. I have partaken of the Kool-Aid (red, please) and believed that I was better alone. Or worse, I spun my introversion into a liberated seclusion.
I tell you…it’s all a lie. Or, maybe not all lies – but definitely part fantasy.
No one was created to function alone; definitely not at their greatest capacity. And that isolation was never liberating – it was always debilitating – because the only place you find a single person subjected to utter solitude is in prison.
“It is not a mistake to have strong views. The mistake is to have nothing else.” – David Morrow & Anthony Weston, Workbook for Arguments: A Complete Course in Critical Thinking
Enough. Please stop it. I don’t believe what you believe. I disagree with you.
I am neither -phobic, anti-, -in, un-, or dis- or any other prefix or suffix that is convenient to make one feel better about being disagreed with.
But guess what? I can also love and care for you deeply. I can be wholeheartedly concerned about you and what hurts or harms you.
…….And that’s even more fun.
I just have a couple thoughts:
There are Christian women who no longer believe in marriage. That annoys me to no end. They’ve allowed what they see and the ignorance that is rampant even in our community to turn them from the ONE thing they should never give up on. And there’s a difference between believing you are called to a life of singleness and not believing in marriage. One has faith attached, the other fear.
Let me add some caveats before I start: I am fully woman…have been all my life. I am fully single…with no romantic prospects on the horizon. I am NOT a virgin…but there are days I wish I was. I have skated on the verge of engagement a couple times…but never secured the actual commitment.
I’ve found that two dichotomous things are usually at work: 1. even if you don’t recognize them, there ARE men (emphasis on MEN) who are not only good for your body, but for your spirit and soul. These are the cats that will not just wait for you, but they’ll be waiting period. And when he finds you, he’ll know what it is because he’s already been to God, Jesus, AND the Holy Spirit about it; and 2) JUST because you have concentrated on his waiting, doesn’t mean that HE has. If all you’re doing is focusing on what he’s doing, you’ve already lost. Because sure, he might not be pressuring you about it, but he just might not be “waiting” for you either. There are many other women who will serve his declared needs and never think a thing about it. It doesn’t mean he loves you or even remotely cares. Some cats are simply serpent enough to give you what you want until you give them what they want.