Advice Column

(request) Dear So-and-So:

I am in desperate need of your help.  I have wondered into territory that I am completely unfamiliar with and I don’t know what to do. What was I thinking? I don’t know if I was thinking at all. I mean I’ve made so many mistakes that I don’t think I can recover.
Please forgive me if I sound neurotic or cryptic. This, asking for help, is really way outside my comfort zone, but I need some support.

Signed, Help Me


(response) Dear Help Me,

Hey Buddy…how about you help yourself? You’re right you’re cryptic because nothing is clear. I need to know what you’re talking about if you want my help. All of it. Don’t leave out one detail because I need to know. It’ll be easier for me to tell you what I think that way. Regardless, you sound pitiful. You probably just need to get over it. I’m sure you’ve tried a bunch of things, but you probably didn’t try hard enough.  Don’t you know how to pray?  I would suggest that you haven’t yet truly applied yourself yet especially since I know what it is to pick myself up and dust myself off. You should be like me!


Yeah. I’d wanna pop the one responding in the face too. But this is how so many of us give advice. It’s always less about what the other person needs.

Even when solicited, the giving of advice should not solely entertain you.  The person you’re pretending to help doesn’t  need to know how much you “know” and how right you are.

It’s actually a privilege to be asked into someone’s head space. Don’t abuse it.

2 responses to “Advice Column

  • My2cents

    Exact reasons why I stopped asking for advice. Half the time the responses make me say are you kidding me. Sometimes it’s best to just listen and then ask the person the question back in a different way. For example, what do you feel is the best way to handle that? In reality the person has the answer they know what they should do but they want someone else to rationalize the decision they know is not best. Going deeper look at the person their asking advice from. Bottom line they know what they should do the battle started and was decided before seeking advice. Validation is needed good or bad.

    • theflufffreejournal

      I agree that sometimes people just want to be validated in their mess. But those aren’t the ones I’m talking about cause frankly, they’re easy. You really don’t have to say anything and that messes them up (it’s pretty funny to watch actually). I mean the ones who REALLY, TRULY are looking for help and get shot down by someone just looking to run their mouth or get into the person’s business. Some people are direct, but even they have decorum.

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