Before you judge

I’ve been watching ‘Couples Therapy’ and the only couple I’m interested in is DMX and Tashera.

I’ve also been following a thread that had me concerned.  A gentleman was speaking his “truth”, but where was it coming from? It sounded like a “peshat” rant.  Wait…let me explain that…

Two Hebrew terms that are gonna define my life (actually, until I learned them, I hadn’t realized how much they already had): peshat and midrash.

Peshat – simple, literal, obvious meaning

Midrash – to examine, investigate

As soon as they heard DMX’s name some people thought they knew what they were gonna get.  See the intro to the show and KABOOM. They only considered the entertainment value.  And in this day of reality TV that is uber removed from reality, I get why. But I knew better. I know men like DMX. I know women like Tashera. Genuine. Hearts of gold.  Abused. Broken.

Back to my terms – I’ve really followed them related to coursework. There’s a way to read a text on the surface and there’s a way to study a text with all of the nuances surrounding it.  You can certainly use the two ideas separately, but in order to get the most out of your study…you need both.

People in this life are the same way. You have to combine the two to truly understand who a person is.  Contextually, if you take everything they do at face value, you’ll make all your assumptions simply based on what you see. You’ll start the labeling: criminal, thug, whore, no-good-for-nothing-and-nobody.  When you start to really investigate what they’ve been through and examine their circumstances, you get a clearer picture.  Things they do start to make more sense. A person who believes they have been controlled will tend to make a point of breaking rules. A person who has never truly known love will look for it anywhere and from anyone. They aren’t attacking you personally, they simply have to make sure they won’t get hurt first. It’s actually a defense, not an offense.

Everyone who is alive has or will have gone through something so don’t think that you won’t be a person who will need someone to consider both in regard to you and the hidden parts of your life.

Before you judge, think about what you don’t know.

2 responses to “Before you judge

  • My2cents

    Working with commerical sex workers and drug addicts fresh out of college I learned that LIFE LESSON to NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. On the surface they presented something completely different from who they really were. As I furthered my career I defended the people I served because they were being judged for what people saw or knew (i.e. the person was in a drug program). My battle was with people inside and outside of the agency. I will never understand how someone takes a job to help but you talk about the people as if they are beneath you. I got so frustrated and the ironic thing was my clients didn’t stress me my coworkers did because of their ignorance.
    I can truly identify with Peshat and Midrash.
    One more thing my challenge for each individual became to make them see themselves differently from what stigmas or stereotypes are placed on them. My goal became to build their self-esteem no matter what they were going thru. We must realize it is quicker to judge someone than getting to know that person. What are you saying about yourself when you judge? Are there some insecurities you are trying to hide? I wonder!!!

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