Convict

I wasn’t gonna write a post this afternoon. I’m already (by the time I finish) 15-20 minutes late from my standard 3:30p post time.

But I was convicted.

For those who have not heard that term, it basically means I received direct instruction on something that I hadn’t done, that my conscience won’t let me off the hook about it and I have to correct it. Now.

This has been the least productive semester I have spent in Grad school, not because I haven’t been taught anything or, in turn, learned anything. I’ve definitively received both pedagogy and edification.

It’s been unproductive because I’ve been unproductive. And in that, I have been convicted and I have to change it going forward.

This the last week and every nerve ending in my body is excited. I am sitting at a school computer getting ready to finish the last 5 pages of a final paper and the last 2 pages of a final book review – all of which need to be done in the next hour and a half. I should be stressing, but because I am very clear that I created this last-minute monster, I refuse.  Frankly, that’s what causes people to drop out of the race instead of just taking a swig of water and running on. They get caught up in the mistake and get dragged down by it.  

Thankfully, I’m not built that way.  What I will do is finish – and finish strong.

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2 responses to “Convict

  • My2cents

    As I read your post the word Procrastination came to mind. I like you have been going thru the same and keep wondering what is the problem without looking in the mirror. it is amazing how we know we need to do handle things and choose other things that can wait over what is pressing. We make decisions in our lives that hurt us and then get stressed and run because we feel we can’t handle a challenge.
    We should adopt that commitment of finishing strong it will only benefit us in the long run. Besides God has given us the strength, knowledge and wisdom. It is time to tap into it and challenge ourselves to be better and not settle

    • theflufffreejournal

      PREACH!! That evil demon seed spirit of procrastination is a weakness of mine. I’ve known it forever, but I never proactively fixed it because it never became a major disruption. But sometimes God will allow you just enough rope…and whether you hang yourself is up to you! I am in awe of Him everyday…humbled and grateful of how He made me and that even in my mess, He never lets me fall headfirst.
      In this instance, I finished both papers and after class, I sat with my professor and confessed that it was absolutely NOT my best work and an honest account of why. The grace of God that I got back from him was almost more than my heart could take.
      So we live, grow, and keep pressing because you said it best “It is time to tap into it and challenge ourselves to be better and not settle”. Ahhhmen!

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