Monthly Archives: April 2012

Before you judge

I’ve been watching ‘Couples Therapy’ and the only couple I’m interested in is DMX and Tashera.

I’ve also been following a thread that had me concerned.  A gentleman was speaking his “truth”, but where was it coming from? It sounded like a “peshat” rant.  Wait…let me explain that…

Two Hebrew terms that are gonna define my life (actually, until I learned them, I hadn’t realized how much they already had): peshat and midrash.

Peshat – simple, literal, obvious meaning

Midrash – to examine, investigate

As soon as they heard DMX’s name some people thought they knew what they were gonna get.  See the intro to the show and KABOOM. They only considered the entertainment value.  And in this day of reality TV that is uber removed from reality, I get why. But I knew better. I know men like DMX. I know women like Tashera. Genuine. Hearts of gold.  Abused. Broken.

Back to my terms – I’ve really followed them related to coursework. There’s a way to read a text on the surface and there’s a way to study a text with all of the nuances surrounding it.  You can certainly use the two ideas separately, but in order to get the most out of your study…you need both.

People in this life are the same way. You have to combine the two to truly understand who a person is.  Contextually, if you take everything they do at face value, you’ll make all your assumptions simply based on what you see. You’ll start the labeling: criminal, thug, whore, no-good-for-nothing-and-nobody.  When you start to really investigate what they’ve been through and examine their circumstances, you get a clearer picture.  Things they do start to make more sense. A person who believes they have been controlled will tend to make a point of breaking rules. A person who has never truly known love will look for it anywhere and from anyone. They aren’t attacking you personally, they simply have to make sure they won’t get hurt first. It’s actually a defense, not an offense.

Everyone who is alive has or will have gone through something so don’t think that you won’t be a person who will need someone to consider both in regard to you and the hidden parts of your life.

Before you judge, think about what you don’t know.


“Batman is actually Bruce Wayne. Spiderman is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he has to put on a costume to become Spiderman.  And it is in that characteristic that Superman stands alone.  Superman didn’t become Superman, he was BORN Superman…the red blanket with the ‘S’ was what he was wrapped in when he was born.  When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman.”  ‘Bill’, Kill Bill vol. 2

Superman has no “props”. He needs no gadgets. If it weren’t for “fitting in”, he wouldn’t need the ‘costume’ he wears to cover his true self.

Your life would be completely different if you woke every morning knowing that you were born super and with that kind of power.


Hey ‘Potiphar’s wife’…DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE GURL??

Apparently not, because your actual name wasn’t even important enough to get included in the Book (even Jezebel and Delilah got a spot…just sayin’).

*Quick recap: the man Potiphar wasn’t no slouch. He was the captain of the guard. Not ‘a’, ‘the’.  Bought Joseph and set him to serve in his house. Not only did Joseph do his job well, he respected his position, his employer, and his God who put it all together. Not to mention he was a good looking kid too.  Potiphar’s wife saw it. She deliberately checked for him. She decided she was gonna ‘have’ him. Potiphar’s wife.*

Ezekiel 16: 32-34 ‘Adulterous wife, who prefers strangers instead of her own husband!  All prostitutes receive payment, but instead you give gifts to every one of your lovers. You bribe them to come to you from all around for your sexual favors! You were different from other prostitutes because no one solicited you. You gave payment and no payment was given to you. Yes, you are different.’ Potiphar’s wife.

Potiphar’s wife, you have a husband. By all accounts, you have a solid husband – balanced. He immediately came to your aid, even at your lying cry, but he also didn’t throw the book at Joseph (probably because he knew his wife).  But you chose to beg behind who YOU called a slave. If he was so beneath you, why did you work so hard to molest him? He NEVER pursued you. Actually turned you down definitively and tried to stay as far from you as possible…but you kept coming. You were so vindictive and desperate that you had to make up a way for it to look like he wanted you when he didn’t.  Why Potiphar’s wife?

Who are you anyway?


I was all ready to shine some love-light, cum-bah-yah on the world this morning, but that would be completely counter to the whole point of this blog. I don’t do fluff. Especially after I came to the full realization this morning that I’m pissed about my circumstances. And that’s been affecting everything.  That monster is slick because I hadn’t noticed how far in the thickets I was…it drained my spiritual batteries before I even realized what was happening.

I know all the Scriptures I need — He’s been feeding me with them daily.  I’m never out of prayer or my Word. Problem is that I’m also never out of my head either. I create the antithesis to every solution He’s given me. So I have the remedy…I just have a tough time actually applying it in times like these.  He’s been faithful and all that for the longest, then all of a sudden he comes along and does something (rather has me do something) I can’t explain and that I can’t see the end of.  I recognize, though, that my definition of faithfulness and His are two different things.  I HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE (add your own) it here because I feel completely bi-polar.  I know what I know in Him, but I also know what I’ve lived…and so the power struggle ensues.

Glory be to Christ that I never win out cause my side is just silly.  I will not sulk. I will not wallow.  Instead I’ll learn how to really trust in God in everything. Period.


Yep. I’m late again. But today, no conviction. I’m off the hook and cleared for this one because I had good reason.

I rested.

I know many were expecting some major emergency or grand excuse. Nope.

I rested.

I know that many would think that was the laziest, most ridiculous idea ever. RESTING? Who does that?

Exactly the point.

Resting is not about lying down and sleeping. Resting is a state of being when you’re sleeping OR when you’re wide awake.  It’s knowing that everything is fine, even if it doesn’t look like it.  Resting is being completely free from anything that happened yesterday (and the yesterday before that and the one before that). Resting is being completely free from anything that might happen today.

Resting is Peace. I’m telling you…you oughta get you some. It’ll change your life.


I wasn’t gonna write a post this afternoon. I’m already (by the time I finish) 15-20 minutes late from my standard 3:30p post time.

But I was convicted.

For those who have not heard that term, it basically means I received direct instruction on something that I hadn’t done, that my conscience won’t let me off the hook about it and I have to correct it. Now.

This has been the least productive semester I have spent in Grad school, not because I haven’t been taught anything or, in turn, learned anything. I’ve definitively received both pedagogy and edification.

It’s been unproductive because I’ve been unproductive. And in that, I have been convicted and I have to change it going forward.

This the last week and every nerve ending in my body is excited. I am sitting at a school computer getting ready to finish the last 5 pages of a final paper and the last 2 pages of a final book review – all of which need to be done in the next hour and a half. I should be stressing, but because I am very clear that I created this last-minute monster, I refuse.  Frankly, that’s what causes people to drop out of the race instead of just taking a swig of water and running on. They get caught up in the mistake and get dragged down by it.  

Thankfully, I’m not built that way.  What I will do is finish – and finish strong.

What You Do

Even with all the people in the world clamoring to get your attention, you’re actually listening for me.  You hear me.

Sometimes I don’t even know how to say what I wanna say…when I’m babbling and talking in circles. You understand every word.

People have things to do. Life is moving. But there are times when I’m needy and no one has a moment to spare. You are never too busy.

I run into what I consider brick walls a lot more than I’d prefer. Every time, you guide me to a door that I obviously couldn’t see (probably because I was running and wouldn’t just slow down).

You see me. You protect me. You strengthen me. You just do.

Thank You.

This again?

I really wish I could say that I’ve been quiet on the blog front because I’ve been burning the midnight oil on my final week of school. I haven’t.  I wish I could say that I contemplating new ways of expression and new directions for my writing. I’d be lying.

What I have been doing is focusing on things that are so inconsequential, so minute, of such low regard that I couldn’t do what He called me to do. I’m annoyed about it so I can only IMAGINE how I’ve made HIM feel.

And it’s nothing new that I’m dealing with that’s causing the hiccup…I realized I’m still on the same old  stuff that He 1) answered already, 2) dealt with already, 3) has been off of for a minute now.   You can’t grow unless you let go. And I didn’t realize just how much baggage I was still walking around with. Baggage of doubt, anxiety, insecurity, lack of confidence…nonsense stuff….because He already ended all of that when He called me by my name.

But you know why I love Him so much. He ain’t surprised by my hold-up. He ain’t even dwelling on it and riding my back about it.  He made it clear to me what the problem was and said “let’s fix it and here’s how”.

I heard. I’m on it.

He Got It

It’s morning. It’s early. My wheels have already been in a perpetual state of spinning. All I have to do.  All I haven’t done.  How to get it all done. What’ll happen if it doesn’t get done.

There are many times when my first thoughts after opening my eyes are of everything that everyone else may need today.   I already have my day mapped out in my dreams and usually wind up just as tired getting up as I was laying down.

I am a planner. Not that my self-hatched plans ever really work out, it’s just my defense mechanism. I am so used to having the rug pulled from under me that I try to make sure that I don’t ever miss anything.  Today may be Tuesday, but I was already considering this day two weeks ago, and I’m already in the throws of wrestling with what might happen two weeks from now. Not because I have to, but because that’s just where my brain goes when I have no answers.  And I have no answers except that Jesus is faithful and the Truth.  And that should be enough except I still attempt to ensure myself the control I so desperately want but don’t have.

Thankfully, all I have to do is stop and remember that God is Sovereign (controls everything, rules everything, got everything sown up already) – and because He is, I can’t and don’t have to be.



How about you just THINK

Although I usually do not get into movie critiques and whatnot – either you liked it or you didn’t and I ain’t tryin to persuade you – but I had intended to talk about “Think Like a Man”.  It worked out that I wasn’t able to see the movie just yet, but I did read the original book and found it highly entertaining, even if not wholly functional for my beliefs.

Originally, I was going to rip into what has been tagged as “The 90 Day Rule”…and how utterly stupid it is for someone, anyone to walk in it blindly as if that’s gonna be any type of gauge of a person or the relationship they want to have with you.  But this morning I realized that the problem is not the rule – it’s the people.

Ladies, I’m talking to you. Woman to Woman (old, young, whatever). Non-virgin to Non-virgin (or virgin). Single to Single (and make no mistake – EVEN if you think you have a “boo”, you are STILL SINGLE.)

Before you start sucking your teeth and saying that things have “worked” for you, I’d like to find out how you know. If you’ve never done anything as drastically different as wholly committing to celibacy, how do you really know what “worked for you”? All you have is a comparison to everything else you’ve ever done and that’s not a true representation of how “well” it’s worked out. Oh…and let’s not forget that the ’90 day rule’ ain’t new…it just has a big name and definition behind it now.  And if you did try it for a little while and it didn’t work for you, are you honestly trying to convince anyone that the feeling of being left after you’ve attached yourself to someone sexually is a better feeling than allowing someone to bounce from the gate because the only options they gave you were ‘have sex or I’m leavin’?

Lemme ask this as well, how much difference is there really between a rapist who wears a mask to hide himself and takes sex by force and manipulation and a man who will hide behind a mask of “caring”, and through emotional manipulation will work to make you think that what’s yours belongs to him before he has earned it?  Before you tell me that’s a harsh analogy…you tell me how you felt after you got banged and left by someone you thought was “the one”. I can guarantee you, having been on both ends of the aforementioned spectrum, that the emotions in each case are just about the same.

So if you didn’t know, there is no expiration date on keeping what belongs to you.  It’s yours. You have the choice of giving it to whomever and NO ONE EXCEPT GOD AND YOU HAVE ANY RIGHTS OVER IT.  That’s the real rule.

Stop worrying about who to think like. Just try thinking.