I remember asking Revvie (my pastor) how we would or could know that we had the Holy Spirit. I needed to understand how you could feel so powerless, yet supposedly have the power to live as we’re supposed to.
I heard it called “the conflict of the Spirit”. We are so obligated to be phony. We throw a smile over everything because we think that’s what we have to do. But if we are truly new creatures, there will always be some type of conflict. There are things that used to make your day that now bother you to your core. Aspects of the life you used to live, and the people you used to live it up with, stress you where they used to be your entire life. There is a serious contradiction in our lives that is the utter core of the Christian life. And we don’t have to apologize for it, run from it, or try to explain it away – especially since most people who will expect you to do any or all of the above, won’t accept anything you say anyway. They just like seeing you squirm.
I was listening to a sermon by T.D. Jakes and he told this story:
A lamb and a pig both fall into a pit of mud. The same pit. Both covered and dirty. The way to tell the difference between the lamb and the pig is that the pig wallows in the mud its fallen in; the lamb immediately starts to cry and starts fighting his way out. It might have to wade in it some to get out, kick around in it to get out, it may even fall back down in it – but it’s getting out. It ain’t staying.