10 pm

For a few different reasons, I’m waxing nostalgic – going back to “a time” – and though I would prefer not to, here goes:

It’s 10pm. I was determined to go to bed “early” tonight. There’s the most beautiful early spring breeze coming through my window and it seems to be God’s way of lulling me to sleep. That is, until I get a thought – no, more of a feeling. One that I’ve been getting more and more recently. It’s of you.  And no, unfortunately, not the You I should be focused on. It’s been long enough ago, though, that I should have no need to think of you at all. We both knew it was a hopeless and hapless situation we were putting each other in. I knew I never stood a chance of having any kind of peace being in your life and you knew that you absolutely weren’t right for me.  You called it a “disconnect”. And you were absolutely right. My light and your dark never, ever could have connected. But we still tried it. And failed miserably.  And now it’s 10pm and I’m thinking of you. Not missing you, but definitely thinking of you.

Why do we think about the unthinkable? Although all is forgiven, how do we forget the unforgettable? How do we let the breeze blow without really feeling it?

…It’s 10:12pm

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