I have a very short list of my favorite TV shows (at the top right now are the ‘Big Bang Theory’ and ‘Criminal Minds’). But ‘Martin’ is still, and will probably always be one of my all-time favorites. I was skimming through YouTube and came across this clip:
As I had a hearty guffaw, I started to notice how much significance that little clip had. First, a little background. Anyone who has ever been exposed to southern gospel will know the story involved. A little dog found himself in a tough situation; he had repeatedly taunted a larger dog on the other side of the fence simply because he thought he was safe on the other side of a gate lock that was secure. But one faithful day when he was really feeling himself, he came face to face with his much larger adversary…because unbeknownst to little Scooter, this time someone left the gate open.
Now to the clip, Bruh-Man had easy access to the apartment cause the window was open. He had no issue with climbing into a space that didn’t belong to him, yet making himself ultra comfortable: made himself a sandwich and was checking for their cable. It didn’t remotely dawn on him that people typically knock on the front door and wait for permission to enter. He wasn’t at all concerned about what they may have been doing, because he had already made it a habit of coming through whenever he felt like it. And to make the most of his stolen access, he would usually do it when they weren’t home. He really thought all this was natural. But it was funny that Martin and Gina were so wrapped up in their conversation that for a minute, they didn’t even realize he was there.
So I ask…how many times has Rambo attacked you because you didn’t know your gate was left open? Who believes they have the right to just open the window to your heart, climb in, and get comfortable there, even though they really don’t have any permission to do so? How long did it take you to figure out that they were even in there?
Don’t feel bad about telling your Bruh-Mans they gotta roll. Then make sure to secure your gates.
I have always felt powerless around people. I was always misunderstood, always ignored, always stuffed in a box, always told what to do and never having any options. So the one wall I never sincerely tried to tear down was the one I built to protect myself from people. But what has happened is that more and more people come to test me right at that wall — and in my heart, they usually win. But I never really understood why that was my revolving door of failure until just a little while ago.
I was rehashing this really painful and disappointing situation in my mind. I couldn’t rest from it. One night I was in broccoli mode and Criminal Minds was on. In one of the scenes they started talking about power – who really had it and what gave the “unsub” – unidentified subject – his power. On this episode, the unsub/criminal was a murderer who made a significant person witness his heinous crime and then left them alive. As the story unfolded, the team uncovered that as a really young boy, the unsub’s mother had made him witness and take part in horrible things (she was a drug abuser and a prostitute) and so he wound up inflicting the same type of pain on other people. He would force young children into a partially open closet in the parents’ room as he tortured and killed the parents. A shiver ran through my body because I realized that I’m an unsub. I don’t literally murder people, but in trying to take my power back after I’ve been hurt, I can completely kill someone off mentally and spiritually. My responses in hurtful situations really had much less to do with what actually happened as it had to do with feeling, rather not wanting to feel, powerless.
But the truth of the matter is that I wasn’t welding any power in that response, I was simply being masochistic. Because trying to hurt people who have wounded you without them knowing you want them to hurt only hurts you. They typically don’t really notice that you haven’t called. They don’t really care that you haven’t been around. They definitely aren’t concerned enough to wonder what happened. Those are all the questions you take on, in addition to whatever issue you experienced. You might as well handcuff yourself to a shrub and resign to eating fallen leaves from its branches and waiting for rain to have a sip to drink.
But God reminded me what my actual power source is. Jesus was in complete anguish over what he had to do but STILL conceded to do it anyway. He always knew where his power came from and how to use it. I’ll be honest, my response was “WELL I AIN’T JESUS…so to hell with this fraganakle crap!” But while I may not BE Jesus, I HAVE Jesus so the same thing he could do, I can do with him in me. I am really quick to detach from my vine when it’s time to take cover but He keeps telling me I not only don’t have to, but it truly isn’t in my best interests either.